WASHINGTON, DC (IWR News Parody)
President Bush today proposed a new mission for NASA to determine
scientifically if there really are millions of people out of work
This would be done by modifying a spy satellite to track the lines
at unemployment offices in key election battleground states.
This satellite would also monitor migration patterns of illegal
aliens flowing into this country, who are now fueling the low wage
economic recovery, aka the president's
for Every McPerson program.
"As you know, we always hear nothing but this doom and gloom
crapola coming from all these pointy headed, Chicken Little, so-called
scientists out there, whose jobs we have not yet been able to
outsource to India. Ha! Ha!
Anyway, these are the same traitors who make all that stuff up
about global warming, air pollution, offshore
drilling, etc. are now trying to say we have an unemployment problem
in this country.
Well I say, nice theory Stalin, but can you back up what you are
saying with some good Texas style proof?
I mean, if there aren't any jobs available in this country, why do
we have all these undocumented Wal-Mart and Tyson's Food employees
sneaking into this country from Mexico for?
Besides, I personally have yet to see one unemployed person here at
the White House or at one of my
campaign speeches. I just don't get it. Besides didn't I
just create a 1,000 jobs last month?
In conclusion, I think it is clear that there are plenty of jobs in
this country, and I think this new NASA mission will prove that
once and for all," said Bush.