This would be done by modifying a spy satellite to track the lines at unemployment offices in key election battleground states. 

This satellite would also monitor migration patterns of illegal aliens flowing into this country, who are now fueling the low wage economic recovery, aka the president's McJob for Every McPerson program.

"As you know, we always hear nothing but this doom and gloom crapola coming from all these pointy headed, Chicken Little, so-called scientists out there, whose jobs we have not yet been able to outsource to India.  Ha! Ha!

Anyway, these are the same traitors who make all that stuff up about global warming, air pollution, offshore drilling, etc. are now trying to say we have an unemployment problem in this country.

Well I say, nice theory Stalin, but can you back up what you are saying with some good Texas style proof?

I mean, if there aren't any jobs available in this country, why do we have all these undocumented Wal-Mart and Tyson's Food employees sneaking into this country from Mexico for?

Besides, I personally have yet to see one unemployed person here at the White House or at one of my campaign speeches.  I just don't get it.  Besides didn't I just create a 1,000 jobs last month?

In conclusion, I think it is clear that there are plenty of jobs in this country, and I think this new NASA mission will prove that once and for all," said Bush.