|UNION CITY, NJ (IWR News Parody) -
President Bush today unveiled what he called his 'bold new' jobs creation plan
that will have American workers competing directly with China and
India by having their wages lowered to third world standards.
You know, as I have always told the First Lady: 'If the mountain don't come to Jesus then
that Muhammad fellow will have to get it for him', and you folks out
there look just about as confused as Pickles does when I told her that
saying the first twenty times.
But hear me out now, cause there is some good ole fashion Texas
logic in these words, and no, that's not one of your oxymoron thingies
either. Thingies, now that's a funny word, ain't it? I
heard that that one from Condi. You know, WMD thingies.
She's so funny!
Anyway, if jobs are being outsourced to India then maybe we just
need to lower wages in this country. You know, supply and
demand. It's makes good horse sense, don't it?
We just need more sweatshops in this country.
And as most of you folks already know, I have made a lot of
that direction already, but now I have to ask for your help if we
are going to lick this thing.
All you patriotic American workers out there need to ask your
50% pay cut, effective immediately, but hey don't stop there. At
the same time, be a real loyal American and ask those pin headed
eliminate your health care benefits while their at it too!
Shoot, you can pay for your Blue Cross with all that left over
money from my tax cuts, right?
Then, if you people could just start working 12 hours a day for 7 days a
week and not get paid for any overtime, we'd be all set.
I mean, come on, if Chairman Mao had to pay overtime wages during
that Long March, he never would have made it Korea, would he?
Man, those Chinamen were lucky just to make it to the end of the trail
alive for Christ's sakes!
Now, if we do can just do something like
that, I think we can stop that outsourcing
problem right away," said President Bush.