WASHINGTON (IWR News Satire) - President Bush
today linked Saddam Hussein And Monica Lewinsky to the rapid
melting of sea ice in the Arctic, a direct result of man-made global
"I guess you're wondering who's responsible for all these
catastrophes, like 9/11, Katrina, the Iraq War and Global Warming, that have
occurred during my tenure as president?
Well, I'll tell you straight - it's Bill Clinton's fault! If
that pervert Clinton wasn't so obsessed with getting knob jobs from Monica
Lewinsky, he would had time solve all these damn problems like global
warming and terrorism that I'm having today.
If he had his act together, he also would have killed Osama bin Laden in
the 1990's. Heck, it would have been a trivial thing for him to do.
I know what you're thinking. If it was so easy for Clinton to kill Osama
back then, why haven't I been able to kill bin Laden in 5 years?
Well fortunately, Karl tells me that's one of those rhetorical questions
that I don't have to answer," said Bush.