CLEVELAND, OH (IWR News Satire) -
On the third year anniversary of the Iraq war, President Bush blamed
his Iraq war woes and standing in the polls on reality. Below
are key excerpts from Mr. Bush's address.
"The American people need to stop paying attention to all this
ridiculous focus on reality and put their faith back into my hair
Sure, it may look now like we are in the middle of a some sort of
civil war quagmire, but as Dick Cheney has pointed out to me many
times in the past, sooner or later, the law of averages has to kick in
and at least one of my policies has to be successful by chance alone!
It's a statistical fact! It's like the lottery. If you
don't buy a ticket, you can't win. Who cares if the odds are a
zillion to one, somebody has to win, right? Why can't it be me
True, the real odds of me ever being right about anything at all
would take longer to happen than the life of the universe, but hey,
I'm feeling lucky!
So anyway, I'm asking the American people to trust us a few more
years and let us spend a trillion dollars and kill thousands more
civilians and US troops on this ridiculous, improbable, colonial
experiment in the Middle East," said Bush with that dumb smirk on his