WASHINGTON (IWR News Satire) - President
Bush today said that the NY Times report telling the truth about his
secret unconstitutional Spygate program was a shameful act.
here, you media bastards, I thought we had a deal that I could run
this country like El Duce after 9/11, and you all promised to play
along by assigning friendly reporters to cover me like Brit Hume, Wolf
Blitzer, Judy Miller and Bob Woodward.
Hell, we're all paid by the same corporate lobbyists, ain't we?
Remember when I invaded Poland, I mean Iraq?
Nobody raised a single goddamn question about my decision to launch
that immoral pre-emptive war back then.
Why didn't anyone tell the truth then?
I'll tell you what happened. I went down in the polls like Monika
Lewinsky. That's what happened. You used to be afraid on
me because I was King Shit back then, and now you smell blood in the
For Christ sakes, what happened to your product loyalty that my
corporate benefactors bought and paid for?
Think on it.
If we started telling the truth all the time, the stock market
People would start buying products and services because of the real
value instead of some commercial slogan aimed at hitting their
reptilian hot buttons to buy some schlocky merchandise or enlist in
Next thing you know an honest person with integrity would get
elected president! Heh. Heh.
So you see, the truth is the enemy of both the State and Madison
Remember what Abe Lincoln said: 'If
you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will
eventually come to believe it.'.
Or maybe it was Karl who said that," said Bush to a room full of