SUGARLAND, TX (IWR News Satire) - Tom
DeLay announced today that he will be starring in a remake of the
Elvis Presley movie Jailhouse Rock to help pay his mounting
legal fees for the recent string of criminal charges brought against
him in his home state of Texas.
Mr. DeLay will play Vince Everett,
who is serving a twenty-year to life jail sentence for felonious
obnoxiousness and money laundering.
While in the big house, his cellmate, a former country singer,
played by Orrin Hatch,
introduces Vince to the record business.
Everett then becomes an overnight sensation as a rockabilly gospel
singer and is eventually paroled by President Bush.
Unfortunately, Vince ends up back in the state pen after
he is arrested for extorting lunch money from school children.