"Karl Rove set it all up for us. We'll get married in Reno before the hearings begin next month. 

Karl explained that many far right conservatives are worried I might be a lesbian, or God forbid, a single normal woman, and they would be a lot more comfortable if they knew I would be verbally and physically abused by Richard Perle if I ever voted for Row Vs. Wade or gay marriage," said Miers to reporters.

Many Washington insiders consider Miers and Perle to be a match made in heaven. 

"They both look like extras from the movie 'Night of the Living Dead'," said best man and TV pundit Chris Matthews.