WASHINGTON (IWR News Satire) - President
Bush this morning on Face The Nation denied that he was taking
"smarty pills" when asked by host Bob Schieffer if Mr. Bush was taking
"I guess not. I can't even pronounce those Mexican
Look Bob, the American people didn't elect me because I am brainy
guy like Clinton.
They elected me because I'm a crazy goddamn Texan, who they thought
would scare bejesus out of Osama bin Laden and his pals.
Unfortunately, those damn Arabs don't scare so well. In hind
sight, it looks like the only people I really scared were
Iraqi barbers, senior citizens and environmentalists.
In fact, it turns out that those damn terrorists love my failed
foreign policies and hope we change the constitution so I can serve
another four years!
It's too bad those evil guys are still not on our our payroll,
then, we could threaten to outsource their jobs to India if they
didn't behave. Ha Ha!
Anyway, to answer your original question, I figure it would be a
betrayal to the voters, if all of a sudden, I started taking smarty
pills and then balanced the budget and pulled the troops out of Iraq,"
said Mr. Bush to a stunned Bob Schieffer, whose mouth was wide open.