George W. Bush - Parody News Cartoon

Bush Denies Using Facts

RED NECK FALLS, TN (IWR News Parody) - At a Nathan Bedford Forrest Day celebration in Tennessee last night, President Bush denied that he ever used any facts to base his decision on going to war in Iraq in 2002. 

"I didn't fix no facts in that stinking Downing Street memo, because I never use facts to make important decisions about things like, cutting taxes, going to war or global warming, in first place!

Shucks, if I had to use facts all the time, I'd never get anything done.

Besides my decisions are based on the Judaeo-Christian tradition, and that means I don't need any of your secular homosexual scientific facts to justify anything.

All us Judaeo-Christians have to do is make shit up that we think justifies our so-called moral values and actions.  You can't impeach me for that now can you?

It's evil people like Albert Einstein that are always causing problems for us fundamentalists.

Hell, if that Copernicus bastard would have kept his damn mouth shut, we'd all still be living in the gold old Dark Ages!

Heck, no one worried about global warming or health care back then, did they?

Take the man we are honoring here today, Nathan Bedford Forrest, he sure didn't need any stinking facts to become the first Grand Wizard of Klan, did he?

Case closed," said Mr. Bush with a smug smile on his face.



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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2005.

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