VATICAN CITY (IWR News Parody) - Pope
Benedict XVI today asked world's poor to dig down a little deeper to
support his gaudy lifestyle.
"I just want to make sure that everyone
understands my dogma and not confuse it with the compassion and
tolerance embedded in Vatican II.
Reaching out to other religions is strictly verboten for example.
I mean, what could be learned by those Asian devil religions like
Buddhism and Hinduism anyway?
Besides, what would people think if I paraded around half naked like
that ill clad Dali Lama fellow? Where does he buy his clothes
anyway, at Sears?
Remember, don't confuse me or my Cardinal chums with those crazy
monks, who take their vow of poverty seriously.
It is important that Catholics understand that their religion is
the only true path to salvation, and that the best measure of its
the shameless opulent lifestyle exhibited by our Church hierarchy.
Sure millions of people may be starving or dying of AIDS, but what
is more important in our religion is style not substance.
You wouldn't expect the Pope to have silk Elvis paintings in his
Vatican apartment, now would you?
By the way, I could use a few more Botticelli and Titian paintings
in my powder room!
How could we honestly expect to continue as the opiate of the
people without the competitive edge that our ostentatious 15th century
Vatican Disneyland provides us," said Pope Benedict rhetorically.