WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody) - IWR
Investigative reporter Seymour Weekly obtained from sources
inside the White House a copy of Karl Rove's Official 2006 GOP Campaign
Playbook. The playbook (below) contains several slides which show
what the GOP midterm campaign strategy should be like for 2006.
Slide 1 Notes
In 2006, the GOP really needs to play up the lottery logic inherent in
the Republican Pyramid and Ponzi scheme
message. Of course, the real odds are nil that anyone in the
middle class would actually break after wage deflation and entitlement cuts.
So, we need to continue to play on people's greed that somehow they too
can be wealthy oligarch if only they vote Republican in 2006.
Slide 2 Notes The GOP also needs to take
advantage of the typical religious right voter's innate tendency to be
drawn towards our subliminal message of self-punishment. This is
especially true as our core supporters
continue to see their piece of the economic pie shrink into crumbs.
Here's an example of the mindset that we need to continue to exploit:
"Oh! I must have offended the Lord. That's why I not a
millionaire yet. If I vote against gay marriage, perhaps Jesus
will make me the winning contestant on American Idol."