In short, the Bush plan would cut costs by outsourcing senior citizens to third world countries like India or Mississippi where medical and housing costs would be provided by the lowest bidder.

"The idea came to us when Karl Rove and me were brainstorming.  Well, Karl was anyway.  I just listened to John Ashcroft kick out the jams on my iPod.

Anyway, I after a while I said to Karl: 'It's too bad we just can't outsource all those old codgers to India like our business buddies do with all those high tech jobs that Kerry was always wining about.'

The next think you know Karl is on the horn to John Snow, and we got us a hum dinger of plan.

Here's how it would work. 

When a senior reaches retirement age, we will still guarantee that person's check, but instead of 2,000 dollars, for example, it will be 2,000 rupees.

The government will send retirees via an empty oil tanker or shipping container free of charge to Calcutta, where the old fogies will be provided best accommodations that their rupees can buy," said Mr. Bush.