WASHINGTON (IWR Parody News) -
President Bush today strongly denied that he ever told the
truth about North Korea exporting nuclear material to Libya.
In fact, Mr. Bush stated that he never tells the truth about
"You know, it's like when Pickles wants to make whoopee at night,
and I always tell her no because I got a headache.
"Or for example, how could I ever win at golf if didn't take a
mulligan on every hole and cheat on my score card? Sure, it might take
me 15 stokes to finish a par three, but I just call it a hole in one!
Everybody does that, don't they?
If it's in your own self-interest, it's OK to lie. That's
what my Bush Doctrine is all about!
Besides, if I started telling the truth about all our harebrained
Neocon plans, everybody in the world would probably crap their friggin'
pants for Christ sakes," said Mr. Bush to reporters.