RALEIGH, NC (IWR Parody News) - President
Bush survived a fall today in Raleigh when he walked through a door,
clearly marked "Do Not Enter", and then plunged ten stories to the
ground. Luckily for the President, he landed on a
paper mache statue of himself built by antiwar protestors which
broke his fall. Mr. Bush reportedly only received a minor bruise
to his Texas sized ego.
The President, who had just finished a
speech on Social Security
one understood, blamed the accident on a "listening impairment"
that he has suffered since his cheerleading days at Yale.
"Everyone knows that the President never listens to anyone else,
just ask the First Lady or Colin Powell if you don't believe me.
Once he makes up his mind, he just charges straight ahead
apparently oblivious to any consequences. I mean, that's how we
got in this mess in Iraq and these huge deficits," said press
secretary Scott McClellan.
Witnesses at the scene also confirmed that protesters had pulled
down Mr. Bush's pants and stole his
codpiece before secret service agents were able to rescue the
Commander In Chief.