COLLINSVILLE, IL (IWR Parody News) -
President Bush went on the road in Illinois to promote his malpractice
bill that would protect big drug companies from what he called
consumer terrorism, e.g.,
people who file frivolous lawsuits for heart attacks and strokes after
taking drugs like Celebrex or Vioxx.
"Americans need to get used to bending over and spreading 'em for
my buddies in big business.
Looky here. It's easy.
[Mr. Bush demonstrates the proper technique by bending over and
clutching his buttocks and then pointing his rear at reporters.]
Face the facts, the Republicans and our fat cat benefactors are in
control of all branches of this here government, and so, your precious
individual rights and civil liberties don't mean shit anymore.
And there ain't nothing you Red State chumps can do about it!
Heh, heh, heh!
Things like accountability have always been a major drag on the
economy, and besides it's time for a little plundering, I mean, profit
taking," said the Mr. Bush.