WASHINGTON (IWR Parody News) - President
Bush this evening said he was still proud of his payola policy, which
Education Department to pay conservative columnist Armstrong
Williams $240,000 to promote the administration's No Child Left
"I can't understand why the liberal press has
gotten its tit in ringer again over my payola policy.
After all, this policy has its origin in the Bible.
You know where it says: "God helps those who help themselves"?
Well, that's the same thing as saying that you should never give a
sucker an even break, right?
That's how Poppy learned me anyway.
How the heck do you think I got things done as the governor of
Texas? It sure the hell wasn't because I was such a nice guy!
Hell, that's why we have the best Republican government that money
If you don't believe me, then ask my best friend
Tom Delay about
how many palms you have to grease to get anything done back home,"
said Mr. Bush to White House Press, who then swore a loyalty oath that
they would only go after Armstrong Williams, and ignore the fact that
the real problem is George Bush's corrupt policy.