CRAWFORD, TX (IWR Parody News) - Press
Secretary Scott McClellan announced today that President Bush will
undergo treatment early next month for his ongoing
character disorder (scroll down for symptoms).
Mr. Bush will be treated as his home in Crawford by the local preacher
and snake handler, Reverend Buford Lovejoy, who has a Masters Degree in
Phrenology from the Tijuana Barber College in Mexico.
Mr. Bush recently met Lovejoy at a barbeque at a mutual friend's
house in Crawford and was impressed by the Reverend's knowledge of
Jesus, baseball cards and bumps on the head.
"I could tell right away from George's heavily cratered head that
he was suffering from a classic character disorder.
He's cocky, arrogant, self-centered, impulsive and never seems to learn from his
mistakes at all.
No matter how many times he
head on the pavement, he still gets back
on his mountain bike does it all over again!
Well if George progresses like my average patient, he should
recover about the time he receives my first bill or when I move on to blood letting
phase of therapy," said Lovejoy as the rattle snake in his hands
hissed at reporters.