George W. Bush - News Parody Cartoon

Bush Calls Missing Link A Hoax

WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody) - President Bush today called the fossil discovery of a missing link between humans and apes a "secular humanist hoax".

"The American people know that God created Adam and Eye only 10,000 years old.  End of story.

Seriously, what are you going believe: a theory that has overwhelming empirical evidence and which is the foundation of modern biology or me?

Scientists would even have us believe that that earth revolves around sun heresy or that this country was founded by some pagan deists.

Think about it. 

If the world really spun on its axis, we would all fall off now, wouldn't we?

Those pointy headed evil doers have the gall to think that their scientific mumbo-jumbo trumps the good book, but hey, I went to Yale, and I would know if the bible had any mistakes in it.

So when some evil scientist tries to tell you he has fossils that are millions of years old, you just know he's doing the work of Satan.

Now, you liberal press SOBs can believe whatever the heck you want to, but I'm no goddamn monkey's nephew," said President Bush as he pointed angrily at reporters.



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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.

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