WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody) - The Bush
Campaign today called the most recent Osama bin Laden video tape "a
hoax created by MoveOn.org".
Here are quotes on the disputed tape from senior members of the
Marc Racicot: "If we really thought Osama bin Laden was
we would have mentioned his name at least once in our
Republican Convention or in our commercials, don't you think?
You have to give us some credit though for mentioning Saddam Hussein and
9/11 about a million times."
Karl Rove: "Our transformation of the image of Osama bin
Laden into Saddam Hussein is
a reality that our supporters must
continue to embrace regardless of how many videos to the contrary are
produced by our liberal enemies like MoveOn.org."
Donald Rumsfeld: "Wait a friggin' minute. We captured
Saddam Hussein last year, didn't we? This guy has got to be an
Karen Hughes: "That's why Bushie needs four more years, so
can win the war on terrorism that he bungled by letting Osama bin
Laden off the hook in Tora Bora in the first place! It makes
sense to me anyway."
George W. Bush: "This is all John Kerry's fault.
I would have caught Osama already if
wasn't for Kerry's defeatism."
Dick Cheney: "Who you going to believe: Kerry or
Halliburton? My money comes from, I mean, is on Halliburton.
Did I say Halliburton? That's weird, I meant to say
Arnold Swarzenegger: "We're not afraid of any bearded girlie
men, who wear pill box hats and dresses, anyway!"