ARLINGTON, VA (IWR News Parody) - Vice
President Dick Cheney's wife Lynne was hospitalized today in the
Psychiatric Clinic for an acute attack of simulated outrage.
According to her aids, the episode started when
Kerry referred to Mrs. Cheney's daughter as a lesbian in
Wednesday's presidential debate.
"How dare that skinny assed liberal commie bastard call my
little 34 year old daughter a
lesbian! It's a red herring, ah, I mean, outrage!
Only Dick and I are allowed to call her that, and its
a cheap tawdry political trick if anyone else does. It just makes me want to puke a stinking stack
of gay marriage
certificates for Christ sakes!
How dare that extremist, left of the mainstream, liberal, liberal,
liberal, goddamn Catholic, SOB tell the truth about my darling little
girl," pleaded Ms. Cheney to the gaggle of ersatz reporters assembled
by Rupert Murdock at the Clinic.
Ms. Cheney was then sedated with placebos and
kept under observation by faux psychiatrist