BETHESDA, MD (IWR News Parody) -
President Bush on Saturday morning had what the White House billed as
outpatient" brain surgery to remove the frontal lobe from his brain.
The surgery was ordered by Bush's chief political strategist Karl Rove after
Bush's humiliating defeat
by John Kerry in the last debate.
"Dubya has been twitching,
making weird faces and
fluttering his eyes so much lately, it's like having a
Too make things worse, the President has also been pretty much an
obnoxious little bastard all year long," said Rove to reporters.
The surgeon in charge, Dr. Scholl, said the whole procedure
only took 30 minutes and that most of the time was spent drilling
through the patient's thick skull.
"He had the thickest skull that we have ever operated on in the
entire history of Bethesda Naval Hospital.
Fortunately, we had an extra set of drill bits so we were able to
get the job done on schedule.
Once we finally reached the frontal lobe, we were able to suck it
right out with a Roto-Rooter.
After that, We filled up the empty cavity with some
Bondo," said Dr. Scholl.
The president, who was only given a local anesthetic, was able
to go home and watch cartoons on TV right after the surgery.