DAVENPORT, IW (IWR News Parody) - A
frustrated President Bush had an ugly temper tantrum today in
Davenport, Iowa after he found out that John Kerry was drawing crowds
much larger than his was.
Mr. Bush started crying on stage, threw bales of hay
and then spit mouthfuls of raw corn at the professional
leather-lunged screamers pretending to be part of his enthusiastic audience.
The frustrated President then shouted: "How come that dumb old
Lurch has bigger
crowds than I do? It's not friggin' fair Karl. Boo Hoo!
It's not fair I say! I thought you said Rupert Murdock was gonna
to fix everything, damnit!
How was I supposed to know I'd lose so many stinking jobs, outsourcing
would be so unpopular, there would no damn WMD in Irack or Rummy was
going to torture every Arab and his camel in the Mideast?
And why does
everybody refer to this as the
when you've told me several times that
we've finally turned the
The sobbing George Bush was then lead away by Karl Rove to the
campaign tour bus, where Rove tanned the Presidents hide with his