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George W. Bush - News Parody Cartoon

Pee Wee Bush's Big Re-Election Adventure

LIMA, OH (IWR News Parody) - In Lima, OH today, The Bush campaign released a new commercial to help woo swing state voters: "His values are just like yours, Sort of!".

The following are excerpts from the TV ad:

"He falls off his bicycle and lands on his face - just like you do!

He chokes on pretzels and then passes out on the floor - just like you do!

He wears a codpiece - just like you do!

He was born on third base and thought he hit triple - just like you were!

He's a depressed thinned skinned deranged megalomaniac - just like you are!

He thinks flipping burgers at McDonalds is a factory job - just like you do!

He's does impulsive things like starting wars and then later won't admit he made a mistake - just like you do!

He thinks outsourcing jobs to the Third World is good for America - just like you do!

He freezes under pressure - just like you do!

He still thinks that women are still chattels - just like you do.

He likes to tamper with elections - just like you do!

Like most gay bashing conservatives, he's a latent homosexual, who is into homo-erotica and likes to wear his wife's pantyhose when no one else is around - just like you do!

His view of life is so distorted; he even believes his own lies - just like you do!

He thinks only property owners should be able to vote - just like you do!

He thinks Alzheimer's is God's way of culling the herd and that stem cell research and science in general are evil - just like do!

He likes corporations better than he does average working people - just like you do!

He snorts cocaine - just like you used to do!

He went AWOL from the National Guard - just like you did!

He wears monkey pants - just like you do!

He thinks that the English language is a foreign language, just like you do! (Ron517)

He's a douche bag, just like you are!"

Can you help think of any more zingers? 
Click "Discuss" to add one, and I'll post the best responses here - Ed.


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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.

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