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IWR Photo Cartoon - George W. Bush

Bush Supports Constitutional Amendment
Banning Viagra Sales To Gays

WACO, TX (IWR News Parody) - President George W. Bush today said that in addition to banning gay marriage he also favors an amendment outlawing Viagra sales to gay men.

"It's time you homos wise up and start acting like normal people.   If you want to marry somebody, marry some frumpy old maid school teacher.  That's what I did anyway, and I don't need no damn peter pills because we don't have sex anymore.  Besides if us married folks can't have any fun, I don't see why you homos think you should.

Jerry Falwell even tells me that your acts of filth are responsible for 9/11!  Don't you know that God will hurl more thunderbolts at us if you keep doing your unpatriotic behavior?

The next time you get some urge to perform an abomination on some other Nancy boy, why don't you just read one of my AIDS abstinence pamphlets instead?  That's what Senator Santorum does whenever he sees a Labrador Retriever, and he said it works like a charm for him.  He claims he hasn't had man-on-dog sex in nearly a month!

Hell, we spent nearly 5 billion dollars getting those religious abstinence brochures printed by Dick Cheney's friends at Halliburton in every language from Swahili to Clingon, and shoot, I didn't even know we had Clingons in Africa," said Mr. Bush.


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Night of the Living Shrub 7/8

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Clarence Thomas Comes In Second At Hot Dog Eating Contest 7/6

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Laura Bush's "Just Say No" To Science Crusade 6/23

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Cheney Stars In White House Version of Cabaret 6/17

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Delay Arrested For Extorting Money From School Kids 6/13

Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.

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