DETROIT, MI (IWR News Parody) -
President Bush (above) takes questions from a crowd of African
Americans during his visit to Detroit on Friday, where he made an appeal to
African American voters during his speech at the annual Urban League
Here's a transcript of the President's Speech:
Whoopi Goldberg? I wanted to ask her what the hell she was
talking about the other night. I asked Pickles about it, and she
said everybody we know in Texas calls that thing a bearded taco, not a
That reminds of a French joke about a girl named Fifi. I think I heard that
one from Al Sharpton, right Al? I always
like to kid my buddy Al.
Well enough of that junk, let's get down to some serious business.
Now many of you here may think I'm just another crazy Texas honky because I missed that
stupid NAACP meeting, but heck, I never was big
fan of basketball anyway.
However, one thing I do understand is what a
swing state is, and that's why I'm here in Detroit to talk to you
I know the Republican Party has got a lot of work to do to win your
support, but please consider the following before you waste your vote
and Howdy Doody.
I'm a compassionate conservative who has personally hired
Africanos like Colin Powell, Condi Rice, not to mention, my personal golf
caddie Spike. There's one more too if you count Cheney when he
puts on his black face and sings "Mammy" at one of our $10,000
campaign fundraising dinners that we have when we're down in Dixieland.
Why don't you people consider voting for a party that will
guarantee lower wages and outsource even more jobs to India
and China instead?
Also, consider my minority friendly record on
We like to think of prisons as the
version of public housing.
See, unlike the Democrats, we won't take you for granted.
Hell, we don't care if you SOBs live or die for that matter, and you
can take that to bank!
So vote for me, and we'll teach those liberal traitors a lesson in
Or think of it this way, if you vote for me at least you won't feel
as disappointed as you will when the Democrats renege on their campaign promises," said Mr. Bush to the