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IWR Photo Cartoon - Colin Powell

Powell Calls Terrorism Report Errors A Coincidence

WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody) - Secretary of State Colin Powell denied on Fox News Sunday that politics were involved in the State Department's annual "Patterns of Global Terrorism" report, which grossly under-reported the incidence of terrorism in 2003.

"We're not statisticians, Chris.  We're Diplomats.  If the President of the United States tells me to bend over and spread 'em,  I'll do my duty and read or say anything he tells me.  I'm sure you're familiar with that routine working for Brit Hume here at Fox News.

But I can assure you personally, Chris, that no one was cooking the books.  It's just a coincidence that the numbers supported Mr. Bush's claim that we are winning the war on terrorism. These were just typos made by some student intern or something.  You know, it's just like the errors in the WMD speech I made at the U.N. Security Council last year.  It's just another harmless coincidence.  I mean what could go wrong," said Powell confidently.


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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.

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